Thursday, 15 January 2015

A Different Kind of Tired

I wrote this fairly recently and given yesterday's nonsense in the papers about M.E, it seems a fitting time to post it here. I'm extremely lucky that I haven't had to deal with comments like this from my loved ones. Many of the friends I have made through having M.E unfortunately have. Some have had a lot worse from those who supposedly know them best. Here's to a future where all sufferers are given the understanding and support they desperately need to improve.

A Different Kind of Tired

Whatever you think or believe about M.E,
Take a moment to consider what it's like to be me.
This isn't just tiredness - sleep won't make it go away,
So when you say I'm tired, I am but not in that way.
I'm tired of being laughed at and I'm tired of being ignored,
Tired of spending life alone too ill to go outdoors.
I'm tired of resting all the time, I'm tired of being bored.
So tired of wondering how I'll pay the bills I can't afford.
I'm tired of having to prove I'm ill and that I am not insane,
Nor am I lazy or depressed, I hear myself explain.
I'm tired of saying the same things over and over again.
I may look okay to you but I spend each day in pain.

A walk will not help me as my legs don't work so well.
It's not fresh air that I require to deliver me from hell.
I don't just need to 'get a grip', 'buck up' or 'a good shake'
I don't enjoy being shut away - I'm ill for goodness sake!
I'd hope you know me well enough to trust me when I say 
I am doing the very best I can each moment of every day.
So yes, I'm tired. I'm weary because you still don't understand.
You think it's all my fault and that I just don't give a damn.
But it's the doctors who are wrong - they've not been trained to care.
As far as they're concerned, they think there is no real illness there
And this is why I need research for treatment and a cure. 
I'm so very tired of waiting, I shouldn't have to fight any more.

I need my strength for getting well. I need you at my side.
I need you to believe in me, I have nothing left to hide.
This is me, this is my life - I look from rainbows when it's raining. 
I'll make the best of what I've got but I'm too tired to keep explaining.
You're either with me or against, I've not the energy to waste.
If you can't except I'm ill then consider yourself replaced
Either offer me support or take your views and go to hell.
If you won't help me when I'm sick, you sure can't help me to get well.

© Charlotte Green 2015

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