Saturday, 1 December 2012

The recipe for ME

The more I read about ME, the more I realise what a complex and bewildering illness it is. The possible symptoms are many and varied, with each sufferer experiencing their own personal concoction in differing amounts and intensities. It's a bit like looking for a recipe online - each cookery website has their own version for the same dish, just with slightly differing ingredients and amounts they recommend you use.

This brings me to my own version of ME. I take comfort in the fact that the majority of my symptoms are shared by others which helps me to remember I am not going mad or about to die from some undiscovered tropical disease. However, there always seems to be something new and crazy happening to my body or my brain and I never cease to be surprised by the exciting new methods my immune system finds to torment me! With this in mind, I have been thinking of what my own particular recipe would consist of. I think it might go a little like this.......

How to make Post Viral Fatigue

Take one nasty chest infection and mix thoroughly with an equal amount of sinus infection.
Add a generous helping of muscle aches and arthritis.
Leave for 1 month whilst attempting to carry on with normal life.

Once mixture has culminated in total physical collapse, you are ready to add the next ingredients.

Add the following:
A dash of swelling,
Recurring cough and phlegm,
One pinch of hot flushes,
A soupcon of fever,
An inability to concentrate,
A scattering of blurred vision,
A large quantity of tension headaches,
Disturbed sleep patterns,
And the main ingredient - several bucket loads of fatigue.*

*Note - it is important not to use any normal tiredness or sleepiness. You must make sure you have the finest quality, Grade A fatigue that will render you unable to even hold a conversation properly, let alone leave the sofa or bed. 

Make sure the ingredients are combined well and let mixture simmer for the next year.  At random intervals just as things seem to be settling, stir all the ingredients up a bit to get them all bubbling up again.

Whilst this is cooking away nicely, you can use the time to prepare your side dish:
Take a large bunch of irritable bowels and several spoonfuls of Candida.
Add some anxiety, depression and weight gain to taste and toss together with several good glugs of cabin fever.

As September approaches and your dish looks like it's ready to serve, suddenly reduce the heat and add several gallons of rainwater. You will notice all the ingredients may attempt to rise to the surface again. If this happens you will have to keep on simmering and stirring until everything is completely done. This could take months, even years so prepare yourself for the long haul. In the mean time you can thankfully finish off your side dish, perhaps leaving the way clear for you to make another with some more exciting ingredients such as nausea and heartburn.

There are so many little aspects to my illness that I might have left a few 'ingredients' off but you get the general idea. I think it goes without saying that this recipe is definitely one I hope you don't try at home!

No comments:

Post a Comment