Monday, 14 November 2011

Blue Monday

Time for another round up from the last few days.....

Friday - Woke up with more aches than I'd had for some time. I was still pretty rough from all my oven cleaning on Wednesday and didn't really feel up to much. Spoke to work which was good as I was feeling rather isolated and out of the loop having been off for so long, but also not good as I then started to worry about the things I was missing. Managed to force myself to go out for a short drive and a mooch round the local high street. Was a bit dizzy walking about but it was nice to out and about somewhere different.

Saturday - Good day to begin with. Slightly stiff first thing but no aches and pains and was in quite an upbeat mood. Went into town with the husband and things went downhill from there. We went for a delicious full english breakfast first, during which I began to feel a bit peculiar and had a hot flush. Off came the coat and jumper and on we went to the bank to open a joint account. The guy in the bank was very friendly but did the usual security questions to make sure I was who I said I was and under pressure, my confused mind and memory gaps started working overtime. Each simple question was like being on mastermind and involved me clasping my forehead dramatically as if I could squeeze the information out of my brain. Still, we got there in the end and were finally able to pay in some cheques from our wedding over three months ago. The longer we were in town, the dizzier and more peculiar I became. I must have looked a real sight, blundering along like a zombie with hands outstretched in case I passed out or fell over. I had to hold on to the husband in order to make it back to the car.

Sunday - In contrast I felt really good today and had a lovely day of pottering. Still felt a little dizzy when we went to the shop to buy ingredients for dinner and again when we went out for a short afternoon stroll. Even this could not spoil my mood and so had a lovely, positive evening. At bedtime, I had a bit of a coughing fit which usually is a sign of a bad day to come which brings me to this morning.

Monday - I feel worse than I have felt for a while. Achy limbs and neck, sore throat (probably from all the coughing last night) and hot flushes. Trying not to let it get me down but it is hard, especially after feeling so good yesterday. It is strange that however I am feeling, I tend to completely forget the following day so that if I feel good, I start to make plans for my return to work and become ridiculously over positive yet if I feel bad, I get really low and can feel like this will never end. That's why this blog is valuable to me, even if no-one else can be bothered to trawl through it! It means I can look back and really see how I'm getting on. There are signs of improvement thankfully, but at the same time, I am not as fit and healthy as I try to convince myself I am when I'm having a good day. This helps to make me feel less guilty for still being off work as I realise writing this that I am not better yet. However, I will be soon - watch this space!

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